And here we still are
21 May 2011.
So. It’s 21 May 2011.
We are all still here.
No rapture.
No earthquake. Well, no earthquake of significance. On average there are two earthquakes of magnitude 2.0 or greater, on the Richter Scale, every day.
Camping is an idiot. So is Johannes Coetzee.
So is every “person” (I stretch the biological classification to the limit) that believes this apocalyptic, theological Deus ex machina crap, but is hiding behind the “no one knows the hour” nonspecific.
A few years ago I had breakfast with a theologian who confessed his shock and appal at a collegue’s conviction that extraterrestrial life forms were to visit Earth. Soon.
I asked what the difference might possibly have been between the delusion of this research peer and the agnosy of the lecturers and students at the Seminary, the buildings of which were visible from our pavement table in Stellenbosch.
The theologian turned pale…
Godiots are idiots.
Here endeth the lesson.
And so say all of us!
Satan
May 21, 2011 at 16:11
Well, there’s still a bit more than an hour to go, so let’s not celebrate quite yet…
Con-Tester
May 21, 2011 at 16:41
Er Nathan, a correction: Globally, there are ±3,500 Richter Magnitude 2.0 — 2.9 seismic events daily. See here.
Con-Tester
May 21, 2011 at 16:50
!
I’m off on my daily rapid perambulation. I have every hope of returning before the end of the world!
Nathan Bond
May 21, 2011 at 16:56
My daily walk takes me by no less than 4! churches!
By the pantheons, I reside in a very cradle of agnosy!
Each and every congregation announce services to the armes van gees for tomorrow, the 22nd!
You are a fucking idiot, Johannes Coetzee – both you and that Camping cunt!
Ek soek my Chateau Petrus ’61!
Dóós!
Nathan Bond
May 21, 2011 at 17:21
Question is, dare I ask, is Johannes still here?
soois
May 21, 2011 at 17:29
Johannes het nie ‘n saak met die mense wat sy wegraping kak gekoop het nie.
Johannes, vasbyt jy is amper weg……..
Satan
May 21, 2011 at 17:33
Ek kan openbaar dat ‘n kollega en baie goeie vriend, wat nié my “godsdienstige oortuiginge” deel nie, maar hoogs bemoerd is oor hierdie FamilyRadio-kak, Coetzee se kantoor ‘n paar weke gelede geskakel het en ‘n dame daar gevra het of Coetzee op 23 Mei (die 22ste is ‘n Sondag) bereik sal kan word.
“Nee”, was die antwoord, “hy sal nie hier wees nie – te veel mense gaan hom soek!”
Nou ja toe.
Nathan Bond
May 21, 2011 at 17:35
It was all a huge money-collecting stint, methinks: The hype, the advertising, the call to conformity and repentance and subservience. Milking the gullible has always been primarily the province of religion. They don’t pay tax, their overheads are minimal, ditto their running costs, and — above all — they have no code of ethics to constrain their behaviour. They get to make up the rules as they go along.
It’s massive delusion or massive deceit. You decide. As for myself, I’m sorely tempted to replace the “stupid” in “stupid cunts” with “scurrilous”. It would certainly explain Coetzee’s reluctance to commit one way or another on the Chateau Petrus ’61 wager.
Con-Tester
May 21, 2011 at 18:04
I survived the Rapture!
Johannes,
Jy het baie om te verduidelik …. waar is jy nou?
Satan
May 21, 2011 at 18:21
Hei! Johannes Coetzee! Waar’s my Chateau Petrus ’61, jou doos!?
Nathan Bond
May 21, 2011 at 18:35
I experienced a rapture this morning. It was around 5am when I sat on the toilet.
McBrolloks
May 21, 2011 at 19:08
Johannes Coetzee, any bible verses you’d care to share with us? Any Family Radio rationales yet about how this Judgement Day failed to dawn? Any logical hoops you’d like to hop through for us — clown-wise, sideways, any ways — to “explain” how the calculation got glitched? Any exegesis or bible verses, no matter how tangential or tenuous, to clarify why The Rapture turned into The Crapture?
Anything? An acknowledgement of error maybe?
No, I didn’t think so.
Con-Tester
May 21, 2011 at 20:17
“The Crapture”! Well said, C-T! Love it!
Nathan Bond
May 21, 2011 at 20:24
I humbly submit that despite recent surgery to excise a considerable portion of my fuse, I do have my moments.
Con-Tester
May 21, 2011 at 20:37
Satan
May 21, 2011 at 20:49
Johannes aan Rapport:
“Julle mors julle tyd met dié onderhoud – jul koerant gaan nie (vandag, Sondag 22 Mei) die lig sien nie.”
En toe so bietjie later:
“Maar as dit nie uitwerk soos ons gesê het nie, sal ons terugkeer na die Bybel en weer gaan kyk. Ons sal nooit die Bybel afsweer nie.”
Dalk moet jy dit begin oorweeg om die Bybel af te sweer, Johannes. Jy het immers gister deel geword van die statistiek van “Mislukte Eindtyd Voorspellers”. En dit maak jou geloof stérker?!
Volle berig: http://www.rapport.co.za/Suid-Afrika/Nuus/En-die-aarde-draai-steeds-20110521
Rick
May 22, 2011 at 03:23
Nathan: What’s agnosy? I found what I suspect to be some close answers:
No exact results found for “agnosy” in the dictionary.
Did you mean agnosia?
Did you mean agony?
Did you mean nosy?
Did you mean agnes buchan?
bewilderbeast
May 23, 2011 at 09:05
@Rick: Dankie vir die rapport-link. Ek merk op die Coetzee seuns (20-jariges!! get a life, manne!) het darem rugby gekyk toe pa nie daar was nie. En BTW, johannes, waarom moet dit altyd Amerikaners wees wat WEET? Volg nou iemand anders, asb. En nie ‘n 89-jarige nie! Hy’s mos reg as hy se Die Einde is Naby!
bewilderbeast
May 23, 2011 at 09:18
@Bewilderbeest…
agnosy
n. – ignorance; especially ignorance shared by the whole human race.
Bron
Nathan Bond
May 23, 2011 at 09:33
Reality sets in, as it always must: No rapture – just a huge hotel bill.
Con-Tester
May 23, 2011 at 10:10
Con-Tester
May 23, 2011 at 19:01
Johannes, is jy nou hopenlik weggeraap uit jou dwaling?
Hans Matthysen
May 23, 2011 at 21:51
Ek het skoon vergeet van Coetzee en sy trawante se voorspellings, totdat Die Buiger aanlyn my vanoggend daaraan herinner het.
“Ons was baie arrogant,” het Coetzee gister gesê. “Ons wou nie eens oor ander moontlikhede praat nie, maar ons moes almal terugkom grond toe.”
Ons wag in spanning vir die nuutste fire show…of nie.
rick
October 20, 2011 at 01:42
Johannes,
Wat nou?
Jy voorspel dat jy sagkens weggeraap gaan word?? WTF?
Satan
October 20, 2011 at 20:53
Isn’t today THE DAY? Which hotel is Johannes holed up in?
bewilderbeast
October 21, 2011 at 15:55
The funniest thing…
Here we still are.
Predictably, there’s no sign of Camping’s Clowns though. Where are their excuses for another failed Scrapture?
Con-Tester
October 22, 2011 at 10:35
Ek hoop net dat Johannes Coetzee finaal weg is.
Nevermind hoe hy moeder-aarde verlaat het. Dis bysaak.
Satan
October 23, 2011 at 21:10
Con-Tester
October 25, 2011 at 12:27
What is truly astonishing is that this load of crap will be repeated over and over again and without fail a whole bunch of cretins will believe it. Even after being proved wrong many times before…and we wonder why religion exists?
Malherbe
October 27, 2011 at 21:02