When a plan comes together
Dontcha just lovit when a plan comes together?
And man, can “God” bring plans together!
On Tuesday one Absolom Morifi crashed into a truck on the highway between Rivonia Road and the Buccleuch Interchange (Johannesburg, South Africa) and after emergency personnel (amazed to hear Morifi talking as they tried to reach him in his wrecked car, wedged under the truck) removed him unscathed from the wreckage, he dusted himself off and praised God.
This event, a veritable deus ex machina, was the culmination of one of God’s little Kodak moment setups.
It all started on Sunday – two days earlier. Morifi went to church and was overcome by guilt for not paying his tithe. God, apparantly, duly took notice of both the arrears payment and Morifi’s guilt. And a cosmic “I’ll be showing you!” took shape in the mind of Al-Quddoos (القدوس – The Most Holy; God).
On Tuesday, Morifi’s guilt was consuming. He cancelled a life assurance policy in order to cede his monthly installment to the church and make right with God.
Al-Quddoos was rubbing his creative hands in glee… a few hours hours later Morifi crashed into the truck, or the truck into Morifi, and the miracle unscathed escape ended in another cosmic Kodak moment for God.
“Thanks for the payment, Absolom! And don’t you worry none now about providing for yourself and your family. I’ll be lookin’ out for you!”
The underwriting industry must be shaking with fear.
The feckless idiocy of cancelling a life assurance policy in order to pay Al-Quddoos’ tithe is discombobulating.
Now, to God. Listen, doos*, why don’t you drop the silly bugger pranking and address child suffering in Africa, at least!?
God. Nullity is Al-Quddoos’ only allure.
* Doos. (Afrikaans – Female genitalia) “You are such a doos.” This means you are a complete idiot. (Surfrikan slang)