Nathan Bond's TART Remarks

Religion: Respect? Ridicule!

“Manto” Landman se hospitaalkerke

with 11 comments

Christina Landman slaan gereeld my asem weg.

Nou het sy dit in Godsdiens-aktueel: ‘Die kerk laat my soos ‘n lady voel’ oor hoekom bepaalde mense na bepaalde kerke toe gaan.

Dit gaan glo oor wié die kerk gestig het en veral hóé ‘n bepaalde kerk bepaalde mense laat “voel”.

Whatever.

Maar dan dít: “Die meeste respondente gaan egter na ‘n spesifieke kerk toe omdat hulle daar genees is van allerhande siektes soos griep, maagpyn, pitsere, blaasinfeksies, oog- siektes en borskwale. Mense verkies blykbaar om kerk toe te gaan eerder as dokter toe wanneer hulle aanhoudende hoofpyn het, of pyne waarvoor die dokter nie ‘n verklaring het nie. Hulle gaan ook kerk toe om van hul vrese en angste genees te word. Of as hulle probleme het met swangerskap. Of met ‘n intieme verhouding. ‘n Teken van absolute geloof is om met geslagsiektes of MIV kerk toe te gaan vir genesing.”

“Omdat hulle daar genees is…”!?

Christina, jou respondente is fôkkin idiote. En as jy nagelaat het om vir hulle te sê dat hulle toe, raai, nié in die kerk genees is nie – goed soos griep het ‘n geneigdheid om binne 3 weke oor te wees as jy bid daaroor, en 21 dae as jy nié daaroor bid nie – dan het ek nie woorde vir jou nie.

Hulle gaan eerder kerk toe as dokter toe!?

Christina, jou respondente is fôkkin idiote. En as jy nagelaat het om vir hulle te sê dat hulle mediese advies moet inwin vir siektetoestande het ek nie woorde vir jou nie.

Hulle gaan met geslagsiektes of MIV kerk toe vir genesing!?

Christina, jou respondente is fôkkin idiote. En as jy nagelaat het om vir hulle te sê dat hulle fôkkin idiote is het ek nie woorde vir jou nie.

Behalwe om dalk voor te stel dat jy jou naam na Manto verander.

Written by Nathan Bond

January 6, 2009 at 08:23

Posted in Religion must go!

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11 Responses

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  1. Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

    The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?’

    She replied, ‘Aye, that ye did, Father.’

    The Father asked, ‘And be there any wee little ones yet?’

    She replied, ‘No, not yet, Father.’

    The Father said, ‘Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.’

    She replied, ‘Oh, thank ye, Father.’

    They then parted ways. Some years later they met again.

    The Father asked, ‘Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?’

    She replied, ‘Oh, very well, Father!’

    The Father asked, ‘And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?’

    She replied, ‘Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!’

    The Father said, ‘That’s wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?’

    She replied, ‘E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle.’

    Daan Van der Merwe

    January 14, 2009 at 15:58

  2. Rick

    Thank you for this contribution – I think I shall post something on faith healing soon for discussion.

    What really gets me is that “God” will assist in the identification and removal of any malignancy, but “God” will not prevent it. Also, such “acts of ‘God'” are most prevalent where excellent medical treatment is available.

    And if the “subject” should die… well that would be the prerogative of the loving “God” of course.

    Ugh. Sickening.

    Nathan Bond

    January 14, 2009 at 07:41

  3. Breaking news!

    Wasn’t Ruben one of the blokes who claimed to have been healed by pastor TB in Lagos?

    See p220 of Dancing with Devils by Jacques Paauw…

    I really hope Ruben survives his latest scare. I also hope that he has learned his lesson now. Faith healers are hoaxes. Period.

    rick

    Rick

    January 8, 2009 at 04:45

  4. Punning. I thought of the following in the light of Con-Tester’s apposite contributions.

    The Bard puns 1062 times in his canon… Julius Caesar opens with puns gutting about. The bantering between the commoners and the tribunes is animated precisely because the cobbler will not desist from punning. When he identifies himself as a cobbler, he plays on the double meaning of the word – in Elizabethan vernacular cobbler meant both “shoemaker” and “bungler” or “incompetent.” When Marullus jibes him further, the cobbler refers to himself as “the mender of bad soles.” (1.i.13.) He continues irrepressibly: “… all that I live by is with the awl…” (1.i.21.) “… when they [old shoes] are in great danger, I recover them.” (1.i.24.) (From Pun Intended.)

    How did we get on this line?

    I guess it is because whenever we talk religion we inevitably start blathering baragouin. In a vain attempt at substance, I guess. It’s about “Something” that’s doing nothing. Let’s rather pun, I say.

    Nathan Bond

    January 6, 2009 at 23:16

  5. …and that’s no one-step-behind footling observation.

    Sorry, couldn’t resist.

    Con-Tester

    January 6, 2009 at 22:20

  6. Well, I’m happy to stop toeing the soleful line and give the boot to instep posturing when the shoe fits.

    Ugh, no wonder Oscar Wilde was so down on puns.

    Con-Tester

    January 6, 2009 at 20:22

  7. Ja nee ,

    Onwillekeurig dink ek aan die Dopperkunde , of te wel IW, wat ‘n verpligte vak op die PU vir CHO was.

    Fok geleerdes ,dr’s en profs, ala jou geleerde vriendin van Unisa, het die kakpraat aangebied.

    Nee, jy is reg , ‘n mens moet foking slim wees om die kakpraat te verstaan .

    Fok , kan jy dit glo – “ ‘n Akademiese artikel in die Praktiese Teologie” nogal.

    Dit is so jammer dat kakpraat sinoniem met akademie voorgehou word. Fok en dit is al die jaar 2009 ….en daar is al mense wat kan lees en skryf , maar die kakpraat is ‘n akademiese artikel , sjoe …prof Landman , waaaaaas die knoffelhuisies om jou nek.

    DW

    January 6, 2009 at 19:59

  8. Xyresic, Con. You struck at the bounders’ Achilles tendon.

    Nathan Bond

    January 6, 2009 at 19:39

  9. It seems that productive contemplation of one’s god’s ability to heal requires one first to become a heel…

    😉😛

    Con-Tester

    January 6, 2009 at 18:49

  10. In ‘n sterk bewoorde aanklag teen my intelligensie en begrip suggereer prof Landman in ‘n persoonlike epos dat sy nie in geloofsgenesing glo nie en verwys sy my na ‘n (akademiese!) artikel in Praktiese Teologie van Suid-Afrika wat haar standpunt verwoord en wat eersdaags op haar webblad sal verskyn – ‘n artikel, sê professor Landman, wat te ingewikkeld sal wees vir my.

    Ek vermoed die geleerde dame is korrek: ek sal die artikel waarskynlik nie begryp nie.

    Dit tref my egter – en ek het dit vriendelikheidshalwe nie aanvanklik belig nie – dat die goeie professor haar Beeld-artikel só afsluit: “’n Mens het deur die jare geleer om respek te hê vir mense se geloof dat die kerk hulle kan genees. In 2009 sal hierdie praktyke voortduur – en gelowiges hopelik gesonder en nie sieker maak nie.”

    Ek vertrou op die intelligensie van my lesers…

    Nathan Bond

    January 6, 2009 at 17:41

  11. Jy is heeltemal reg . Dis is die jaar 2009 en mense wat kan lees en skryf is nog idiote. Fok !!!!

    Gee vir Landman ‘n Angus boekie vir Kersfees . Jissis tot op koeie word die hande opgelê.
    So reg in Landman se kraal …. sy kort net nog ‘n paar knoffelhuisies om haar nek.

    DW

    January 6, 2009 at 16:23


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