All I want from “God” is 5 minutes of His time.
I am told that a thousand years to “God” is like a day. So, what I am really asking for is 1/1250th of a single “God-second”.
I want “God” to momentarily disengage from running the multiverse and fly into CNN’s Atlanta Head Office for a brief media statement. I even took the liberty of writing the text for His Indefatigable…
Hi ya’all. Just to put your minds at ease: I am God.
I exist. I… am.
Christians/Muslims/Jews/Hindus/Buddhists/other (scrap the non-applicable) are generally right.
I will soon return to earth to take those of you who want to go, to where I live when I don’t travel.
But for the moment I am running the multiverse and it’s a huge job.
However, I am, as I have said to Moses just 3 days ago.
Jeez, you people are impatient! Two days and you’re jittery.
If “God” can’t give me this fleeting moment of his time His Almighty can go fuck himself.
But, hey, just think about it: Most all of human strife eliminated in 5 earth minutes!?
Come on “God”! Do this thing!