Nathan Bond's TART Remarks

Religion: Respect? Ridicule!

Angus bid vir reën in George

with 28 comments

George, die hoofstad van die Tuinroete,  het nie ‘n waterprobleem nie; George het ‘n waterbestuursprobleem. Vra die politici.

Angus Buchan – “die reënmaker”, nogals! – gaan op 6 Oktober in George bid vir reën. Dié event dra glo selfs die burgemeester, Philip de Swardt, se entoesiastiese goedkeuring weg.

George is een van Suid-Afrika se hoogste reënvalgebiede.

Oor die afgelope 30 jaar is Oktober die maand met die meeste reëndae met ‘n neerslag van meer as 1mm.

As jy dus in George wil bid vir reën, is Oktober jou beste, beste kans op sukses.

Ek vermoed Angus doen sy huiswerk goed. Veral sy reënvalhuiswerk; hy is immers ‘n boer.

Hierdie opgestelde “Kodak-oomblikke” maak ‘n bespotting van “God”. Sal gelowiges dan nóóit leer nie? Dit is gelowiges se eie optredes en uitsprake wat godsdiens en “God” minag.

Written by Nathan Bond

September 27, 2009 at 08:43

Posted in Religion must go!

28 Responses

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  1. PRYS DIE HEER! GOD IS IN BEHEER! ANGUS NOU ‘N MULTI-MILJOENER! PRYS DIE HEER! 300,000 MANS ONDER MASSA HIPNOSE! PRYS DIE HEER! DUISENDE MENSE DOOD IN HAITI! PRYS DIE HEER! DUISENDE DOOD IN CHINA! PRYS DIE HEER! VROUENS EN KINDERS WORD IN SA VERKRAG EN VERMOOR! PRYS DIE HEER! BOERE EN HUL GESINNE WORD OP PLASE ONDER INSTRUKSIES UITGEMOOR! PRYS DIE HEER! GOD IS IN BEHEER!

    ErickV

    April 23, 2010 at 08:24

  2. Angus Buchan – AMENN!! Praise God for this past weekend. I was humbled to see the thousands of men there. The fuel stations on the N3 didn’t know what hit them. They say on Sunday that lots of men shouted AMEN in the take away shops. Well done!! Send your testimonies and photos to mmc@itickets.co.za.

    Angus Buchan – 5 MINUTES. In just 5 minutes last night thousands and thousands of men connected with God. This is the most amazing sight. Men turning back to God. I encourage you, spend time with God tonight. And like all these men everyone shout….

    Angus Buchan – Its raining MEN!! Where do all the men come from?? MMC you beauty!!

    Angus Buchan – ARIVALS. Mighty men are ariving in their 1000’s from all over. Its trucks, tents, busses, caravans you name it. Weather on the farm is perfect. I can smell a nation changing with God in control.

    Angus Buchan – MEN ARISE!! They were hidden under the shade of a lonely tree. Silent, observing and waiting. Now, like a king the lion emerges as one to take lead in our nation. Men flocking to MMC to take back the lead. Instructions from God. Thousands started their journey here. Arise and COME!!

    McBrolloks

    April 22, 2010 at 19:32

  3. Angus’ Facebook page. Just read the dribble he writes there.

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Angus-Buchan/257406448855

    McBrolloks

    April 22, 2010 at 19:25

  4. From Con-Tester’s link: “We need to make a stand for Jesus and call sin by its name and when we go home, we’ve got some business to sort out!”

    Now I just wonder what change we’ll see in South Africa? None, I bet.

    ““The Lord is using Angus Buchan to impact people’s lives everywhere through his simple but profound teaching of the Gospel,” said GOD TV co-founder and CEO Rory Alec.”

    I suppose asking for proof that the Lord is using ol’ Potatohead is out of the question. (Pretty dumb Lord, I would say; there are more eloquent speakers with greater knowledge of the Bible than him.)

    “”I am especially moved to see so many men’s lives being transformed for the Kingdom, because I know this means stronger marriages and families that are a shining example of God’s love in action.””

    Isn’t it a bit short time-wise to make these claims? Shit, but these guys can utter unadulterated BS, but, I’m sure, as long as the money rolls in, you can dish up any story to make the suckers feel better parting with their money..

    Savage

    April 22, 2010 at 18:13

  5. Angus does more than just make rain, he can also make rain stop.

    This is what a friend of mine wrote about the Mighty Ignorant Men Conference 2010. He attended with his son.

    “ja ons het droog geslaap…elke keer wanneer ANGUS op die verhoog verskein het , het dit ophou reen , en as hy se ons moet opkyk was daar ‘n gat in die wolke bo die plaas en die hemel was blou !!!!..dit nadat weervoorspelling gese het dat dit hele naweek gaan reen !”

    Also notice the ANGUS is caps. These people see him as their mysiah now. ANGUS = JESUS

    McBrolloks

    April 22, 2010 at 16:48

  6. Savage, I think you’re missing an important factor or two, namely that Mr Potato-and-Leek had to contend with about fifty times the number of hungry mouths ol’ Jeeeeeeesussssss had to feed, and he also had a direct line to his daddy’s miracle arsenal. Still, the much larger number would tax even the hardiest omnipotent entity. Plus, Real Men ™ don’t eat fish, except sometimes on Fridays for dinner…

    But you can get more information about it for yourself if you so wish. It looks like Mr Mighty Mazambaan’s god himself missed the event because it’s scheduled for broadcast on his holy TV this weekend.

    Con-Tester

    April 22, 2010 at 11:49

  7. Toe Aartappelkop vir reën op George gebid het, het dit toe gereën? Ek kan nie onthou nie. Maar ek lees dat met die laaste saamtrek die kosverskaffer met die geld verdwyn het en die arme aanbidders in hongerte gelaat het. Angesien Aartappelkop ‘n direkte lyn na Jesus het, kon hy nie maar ‘n oorvloed brode en visse vir die aanbidders opgetower het nie?

    Savage

    April 22, 2010 at 07:34

  8. Julle kan werklik nie stry nie, want dit het seker baie geld gereën, met Angus se besoek daar op George?

    Hans Matthysen

    March 22, 2010 at 18:28

  9. Con-Tester

    March 22, 2010 at 09:28

  10. Helen, nogals my premier, het my die bliksem in. En so ander mense wat net aanvaar dat alle mense christene is.

    Weereens wys dit dat hulle maar soos alle politieke trawante, oppertuniste van die eerste water is.

    Ek is ook nou keelvol vir vergaderings wat met gebed geopen word – daar word vir alles gebid van Jan se jig toon tot verby die ekonomie, tot by, wat anders, reën . Godeloos.

    screw-tin-eyes

    March 8, 2010 at 17:50

  11. Mr Potatohead, after abysmally failing to deliver rain (’cos no “spiritual rain” fell first, see?), turns politicians’ brains into tuber mash. Helen Zille and Pieter Mulder got a craniumful while Jacob Zuma didn’t pitch up for his. The event was billed as “an opportunity for all South Africans to unite under one God,” leaving Hindus and other polytheists, as well as atheists in something of a bind.

    Con-Tester

    March 8, 2010 at 11:05

  12. Indien dit nie binnekort in die George area reen nie, hoef gelowiges nie te bekommer nie, want God sal ongetwyfeld die eer kry vir die nuwe pyplyding wat aangele word, asook vir die water wat binnekort in Sedgefield ontsout gaan word.

    Want sien, God het altyd n plan. ‘n Paar mense mag dalk eers in die proses lelik afkak, maar beplan sal daar beplan word. God, altyd ‘n wenner!

    Geniet 2010!

    Rick

    Rick

    December 31, 2009 at 09:47

  13. Hmmm, ‘n Angus-Rain-Watch by Tart Remarks – ek ‘like’ dit.

    Volgens die reels van waarskynlikheid, moet hy net aanhou bid, een of ander tyd gaan die reen en die gebed saamval en dan vergeet almal hoeveel keer hulle gebid het, maar onthou net die een gebed wat ‘gewerk’ het en voila – gebed werk.

    screw-tin-eyes

    December 30, 2009 at 09:41

  14. Mmmmm… I drive through George regularly and am taken by the roadside signage reading “This is a water scarce area”. The city has water to last until February. Plant potatoes, I say!

    Nathan Bond

    December 29, 2009 at 12:07

  15. Situation critical: still no rain. Angus, methinks you brassed off your skydaddy.

    Con-Tester

    December 28, 2009 at 15:04

  16. Aah, Johannes. Spreekwoorde…..

    Wat van ‘sien is glo’

    screw-tin-eyes

    November 17, 2009 at 06:46

  17. Bid jou dit aan…

    johannes coetzee

    November 12, 2009 at 16:18

  18. Bid, soos elke christen vir jou sal se^ is ‘n baie ‘powerful tool’ , want hulle vra vir leiding, vir beskerming, vir uitkoms en seker soms vir aardse, materialistiese goed (naughty naughty, maar wie sal dit ooit weet, reg ?)

    Daar is ‘n paar goed wat my ontsettend ontstel en briesend kwaad maak – die sportmanne wat nou so kruise slaan, opkyk (waar het my hulp vandaan gekom !?!) of die hart met die vuis slaan, dit dan soen en boontoe wys. Christen tannie: ‘ Ai dis darem so mooi dat hulle wys dat hulle christene is. Kyk hoe het die here hom gehelp – hy weet hy sal dit nie alleen kan doen nie ‘

    So hier is die senario. Span A se speler druk ‘n drie en die speler, soos dit enige christen speler betaam deesdae, skiet ‘n dank gebed op vir die drie. Span B – hulle is die bliksem in, want hulle het dan voor die wedstryd gevra dat hulle tog moet seevier. Almal stuur skietgebedjies op dat hulle tog die volgende drie moet druk – ag here, laat dit ek wees, ons wil wen. Op die ou einde van die dag (om ‘n bekende rugby spreekwoord te gebruik): Die sterkste span wen, nie die een wat die hardste gebid het nie, maar ek is seker dit is nie wat die christene glo nie. Verloor span, sorry, al troos vir julle – dit was die here se wil. Kan mense sulke redenisasies begryp.

    Wat se^ jou gesonde verstand vir jou ?

    Dan bid die mense dat die hongersnood in Afrika verlig moet. Mens sien die kinders met geswelde magies, en jy besef hulle is aan die einde van hulle kort lewe omdat daar nie kos is nie.

    Hoe lank bid christene al, gooi geld in ‘n bodemlose put, stuur sendeling om die mense te bekeer (want miskien is dit waarom Afrika so ‘gestraf’ word) – niks gebeur nie, nada – dit bly dieselfde. Geen mana uit die hemel. Miskien le^ god op sy hoor-oor, miskien moet die kindertjies van Afrika vir ewig gestraf word, want hulle voorouers was barbare en het geglo die donderweer is ‘n god. Hulle moet gestraf word, bliksems.

    Nee, die ware feit is, daar is mense (te veel) op plekke waar hulle nie veronderstel is te leef nie. Droogte (natuurverskynsel) woestyn (geografiese verskynsel) oorbevolking (onkunde, tradisies, you name it). Dit kan nie reg gebid word nie, anders sou daar nie hongersnood gewees het waar kinders kan doodgaan nie.

    Dieselfde geld vir siekte. Nou wil ek nie eens verder hieroor praat nie, want dis nou ‘n trollie vol bollie wat hier aangaan.

    Ek kyk die ander dag na ‘n charismatiese prediker (lees selfverrykende leuenaar en con-artist) en voor hom sit ‘n horde mense wat juig as hy sulke goed kwyt raak soos: hy gaan nie meer wag vir die mens om genesing van malaria (dit was die een voorbeeld, maar hy het ook kanker gebruik) uit te vind – hy sal sommer direk na die Here gaan vir die genesing. Dit is die gouste en kortste pad. Die mense juig halleluja – wat ‘n bedrogspul.

    Mens kan bid tot jy blou word, maar soos enige christen sal erken – dit is vir god om te besluit of hy gaan luister of nie, right ? GIVE ME A BREAK.

    Gebede wat nie verhoor word nie, is ‘n klinklare bewys vir my dat daar nie ‘n god is nie. Vir ‘n christen is dit ‘n bewys dat jy vir iets gebid het wat nie vir jou beskore was/is nie. GIVE ME ANOTHER BREAK.

    screw-tin-eyes

    November 8, 2009 at 09:15

  19. Gods Johannes , is jy weer gesuip?

    DW

    November 6, 2009 at 21:07

  20. Joost meets Mr Potato-and-Leek, says “Sorry, I’m a failed pillar.”

    Elsewhere, the M&G’s Chris Roper puts things in perspective:

    “Joost van der Westhuizen … [being forgiven or not] … sure as hell has got nothing to with some faux-prophet squatting in a haystack of money in a field somewhere.

    What incredible hubris leads minor celebrities to believe that we are interested in intervening on their behalf in the spiritual barter system that is religion? Surely it’s up to Amor, his family and Calvin Klein to forgive Joost, and ultimately whatever version of god he has configured to best meet his needs?”

    Con-Tester

    November 2, 2009 at 11:40

  21. Not just SA. Regular prayer meetings held in Windhoek to request “peaceful, free, fair and just elections” for Namibia.

    In other words, “We don’t trust our public servants and our fellows to do the right thing, so God, if it pleases you, make them do it my way.”

    Con-Tester

    October 12, 2009 at 11:13

  22. Sorry to say, but South Africa is sliding back into a medieval cesspool. Believers in myths. Proponents of The Faith (ooops! Which ONE??). But they’ll be willing to kill (and die) for The Faith. Whatever the flavor of the month may be. Potato, leek, resurrection, flying horse, virgin birth, ghostly ancestors. In their own eyes, they hold the Ultimate Truth. What a bunch of prehistoric losers!

    Amused Skeptic

    October 9, 2009 at 19:36

  23. Nathan “my china”

    Ons behoort juis “godsdiens” met die minagting wat dit verdien te bejeen, maar die Almagtige Heilige God (die Skepper God, die God van Abraham, Isak en Jakob, van die Bybel) nooit!

    Wanneer 21 Mei 2011 aanbreek sal diegene wat die ware lewende God geminag het agterkom wie Hy werklik is…!

    Dan sal die weerprofete van die ware profete finaal in een oogwink van mekaar geskei word….!

    (1Co 15:51-55) Kyk, ek deel julle ‘n verborgenheid mee: Ons sal wel nie almal ontslaap nie, maar ons sal almal verander word,

    in ‘n oomblik, in ‘n oogwink, by die laaste basuin; want die basuin sal weerklink, en die dode sal onverganklik opgewek word; en ons sal verander word.

    Want hierdie verganklike moet met onverganklikheid beklee word, en hierdie sterflike moet met onsterflikheid beklee word.

    En wanneer hierdie verganklike met onverganklikheid beklee is en hierdie sterflike met onsterflikheid beklee is, dan sal vervul word die woord wat geskrywe is: Die dood is verslind in die oorwinning.

    Dood, waar is jou angel? Doderyk, waar is jou oorwinning?

    johannes coetzee

    October 9, 2009 at 11:35

  24. Almost 14,000 at Outeniqua Park stadium. Mr Potato-and-Leek is trying to get a leak from the heavens.

    The interdenominational prayer service was called at the instigation of local farmer Andre Barnard, who had a vision that if people set aside their differences and came together in a spirit of peace and humility, God would provide for their needs.

    Gets ’em every time, this “spirit of peace and humility” that makes wonderful things happen (or, more usually, not).

    [Angus Buchan] said God had also showed him there was a lack of love in George.

    Now there’s a precise statement for ya. Is Mr Potato-and-Leek an aspiring clairvoyant?

    I never went to Bible College; my school was the school of hard knocks. But Jesus answers prayers and has never let me down. I’m telling you, rain is going to come. Not maybe; the rain is coming.

    Very, um, of-the-people, ol’ Mr Potato-and-Leek, no? Whatever happens, Jesus will answer this petitioning for precipitation. Trouble is, he might reply, “Up yours, chinas!” What then? Hallelujah and Amen, that’s what!

    Con-Tester

    October 7, 2009 at 11:24

  25. How’s the weather down there? Because it looks like yez all has a downpour of nonsense to contend with. Even Helen Zille is revelling in it.😦

    Con-Tester

    October 6, 2009 at 16:12

  26. It would be divine justice (so to speak) if this October turns out to be driest one George will have seen in a century — not that I expect meteorological conditions to dish up such a delicious irony. On second thoughts, Angus’ faithfuls will hail whatever happens as a miracle worked by Big Daddy, while his religious detractors will take it as a sign that Big Daddy doesn’t like Buchan’s presumption in attempting to petition some favours.

    Con-Tester

    September 29, 2009 at 21:09


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